Nostradamus also predicted the arrival of the United States, and their fancy for air combat:
De nuict soleil penseront avoir veu,
Quand le pourceau demi-homme on verra:
Bruict, chant, bataille, au ciel battre aperceu:
Es bestes brutes á parler lon orra.
Need I say more…? Oh yes, a parting shot. How many Americans does it take to bomb a wedding? Three: one to crash his Apache into some high-voltage lines, one to get shot down by random AK-47 shots in the air, and one to be so stoned off his ass as to think it’s a concentration of militiamen.
Hey guys…, I would have written sooner but I was too busy running from low flying airplanes. Well I see you have regained your sense of humor. But it seems that airplanes aren’t the worst problem around here. You should hear this news media created panic being caused by pigs. You’d think the black plaque had returned.
Now the airplane thing to me is funny because that was caused by actual people panicking over something they saw. But the swine flu thing is all media! Like 40 people get a cold and they are ready to start burning corspes. Slow news days are the most dangerous times around here because the irresponsible media has to create something to report on. If you are ever looking for something to laugh at the Americans about, just look at our news. It’s something I’m truly ashamed of. In order to get an accurate account of anything around here, I have to watch about five news programs daily and attempt decipher one truth from all of them. Never in all my years has 40 people getting a cold been considered a pandemic. Hey but leave it to the U.S. media. One reporter on CNN just said…,
“…the one CRUCIAL thing we DON’T want to DO isPANIC!”
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! We’re All Going To Die!!!!!!!!!
Anyday now they should start pig burnings and people will start looting and hording food. Well at least the pharmacutical stocks should go up.
Well it’s good to see you guys laughing. You see there are some Americans who can take a joke. My take on the life basically goes like this:
There are two kinds of people:
1. Those that can take a joke
2. Those that are a joke
Keep smiling and watch out for pigs and planes!
Wayne
By the way, the how many Americans does it take to defend the a skyscraper joke was great. I told it to a few people here and it cracked them up. But Andre, I’m not sure I get your joke. Believe me I’m trying. Your poem was in French so I’m not sure what you were saying and have no idea what the Rueben’s painting had to do with anything. Explain a little further for me, will ya. You know around here sophistication is on the level of somewhere around Dancing with the Stars. Or maybe you gotta work on your delivery a little more. 🙂 Anyway…, keep the jokes coming but watch out…, I have some doozies. I just don’t want to piss any of you off too much…, yet 🙂
OK, don’t think I believe you’re dumb Wayne but heck, we hear a lot of the dumb American story…
Here’s a sample: the story of John an American and his business partner Pablito from Mexico story about…
John and Pablito were walking through Central Park discussing and ‘strategising’ about the next day’s meeting with some big shots.
John, your typical American, was visibly animated and could hardly control his excitement while Pablo calmly listened who tried to put in a word from time to time but John would have none of it as he went on and on excitedly about how he’d beat the hell out of those big shot businessmen.
They’d been walking for a while when all of a sudden John just stopped; turned around livid with rage, cussing and cursing as he stomped repeatedly on a snail, it caught Pablo off-guard.
Pablo finally found his words and asked, “What did you do that for? It’s done nothing wrong to you!”
John screeched, “You gotta be fxxxing kidding! Didn’t you see that it’s been following us for the last half hour? It could’ve been carrying a frigging microphone for all you know!”
Dang! Lemme get these 2 lines slightly less skewed…
OK, don’t think I believe you’re dumb Wayne but heck, we hear a lot of stories about the “dumb and loud American” in the UK, so it’s sometimes difficult not to wonder if there’s truth to the stories… Here’s a sample: the story of John an American and his business partner Pablito from Mexico…
Mr. Hillblogger,
There is no need to be condescending. I think I have been a good sport here and have done my best to have an open-minded conversation. I believe it has been fun and enlightening for all.
But what started this whole conversation, was a few of you thought someone from America was wrongly making a joke at your expense. I invited you to share some American jokes and a couple were quite funny.
But this joke just isn’t funny:
How many Americans does it take to bomb a wedding? Three: one to crash his Apache into some high-voltage lines, one to get shot down by random AK-47 shots in the air, and one to be so stoned off his ass as to think it’s a concentration of militiamen.
I realize you are saying Ameicans, especially our military, are stupid. But bomb a wedding? What’s that about?
I’m not in the least bit offended, but I don’t see any coherent humor in it either. You could tell it to me twenty times and it still is not going to make me laugh.
Regardless…, even if the joke is totally obvious and I didn’t get it…, is no reason to be a condescending asshole about it. That is one stereo-type that exist about the French. I don’t buy into it, but you are not helping .
Please.., in the future, say anything you want. But be civil and respectful.
Wayne
realize you are saying Ameicans, especially our military, are stupid. But bomb a wedding? What’s that about?
It’s about several notorious incidents in which traditional Iraqi weddings, which involve people shooting in the air in celebration, were bombed by the U.S. Air Force thinking it was a concentration of militiamen.
Wayne, let’s not start talking about “backsides”, OK? Not remotely very polite or respectful, if you see what I mean…
But my good Sir, if you care to re-visit your post, you will notice that it was you who went the extra length explaining why you weren’t <i>”getting it”</i>… I did make light of your own predicament but that’s in keeping with the spirit of your own post, to wit:
“You know around here sophistication is on the level of somewhere around Dancing with the Stars. “
Wayne, I think there is a slight misunderstanding here. The French can laugh at themselves, no problem.
What we have a problem with here is the perpetuation of a very offensive and unfair stereotype; i. e that the French are cowards.
The French being cowards has become an undisputed and widely accepted fact by many.
About a month ago I returned home from a 3 month French teaching assistantship program at a public high school in California and I was appalled at the replies I got from those kids when I asked them what they knew about French history. I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say that the word surrender came up a lot.
And it was no joke to those kids I assure you.
So I’m sorry if we come up as humorless twats when we get offended by those surrender jokes but with 1.6 million French soldiers buried in France from last century’s wars, we still gonna take offense and take the time to challenge that ugly stereotype thank you very much.
If it comes down to a choice between being called a humorless prick and a coward I know what I’m gonna choose.
And please don’t pretend that the lame (sorry guys) “American jokes” we have come up with here even come close to being as offensive as the French surrender jokes whose abuse by right wingers to ridicule the French during the run up to the Iraq War is certainly no coincidence. Those guys wanted to hurt the French.
Do not insult our intelligence.
Barney, your point is elegantly presented. Thank you. I might add that it is outrageous to insult survivors of Rwanda, Cambodia, Armenia, etc. Any time mankind suffers loss and harm, in the cause of being free, is not humor, it is disaster.
““How many Americans does it take to defend a skyscraper? No idea, it’s never been tried!”
Lol! I bet Americans will go amok if that sort of ‘joke’ is circulated in cyberspace.”
You’re all a bunch of horrible people, and you Hillblogger are one of the worst. You cry and cry about a stupid joke on South Park yet you circulate these offensive jokes and “Lol!” This is nothing new, I have seen you do it plenty of times before. Of course your innocent because you don’t agree with it your only “passing it along to see how it makes us feel” but your aim is to make us feel bad. You paint Americans with a large brush, you blame us all for South Park’s silly jokes (add the french to the long line of blacks, gays, jews, arabs, canadians, americans, etc. to be made fun of). You are overly sensitive and apparently only think the French matter. You are a hypocrite who does not deserve their goal. For if you are a participant in America bashing , do you in all sincerity think you’re in a position to cry about French bashing?
Jane, I find those “jokes” in very bad taste, and so do their authors. You must not take those posts – as we say in French – “au premier degré”. These so-called jokes were made to prove a point : things are different when the tables are turned.
I do not approve of these jokes, and as clearly stated above the comment section, all coments are the responsbility of their respective authors, but I fully understand the point that is being made here. Take any so-called joke that was told about the French or France by State Governors, Columnists, Congressmen, Senators, Journalists, Comedians, Writers and change it around to an Anti-American joke, and will immediately see things differently.
Elaine, my apologies – I just found your message deep inside the spam filter of the site (multiple URLs are probably the cause). Thanks for the research, will look into it. I really like Richard Belzer, he had some very harsh words for French-Bashers, can’t remember where I heard that.
You know after reading comments after my last entry I considered argueing back. But then I thought to myself, the reason I do this in the first place are many. Talking to other people around the world can provide you with many prospectives you’ve never considered. It can enrich my understanding of the world and hopefully provide an opportunity to make some friends along the way. But the main reason (and I’ll be honest) is it’s fun. Sometimes you will encounter some negative discussions but I try to avoid them for the most part. I accept from the beginning that I’m not going to change the world and the best I can hope for is to shed some light on something a person has never seen before, learn something myself, and hopefully laugh and make someone laugh at the same time. I will be the first to point out my own shortcomings and will not hesitate to make light of other people’s.
There is a joke I tell when someone get a little sensitive about something I’ve said:
“I’m not predjudice…, I hate everyone equally.”
It’s just a joke but it does communicate that anything I make light of, has nothing to do with race, color, sex, sexual orientation or anything else of that nature. It doesn’t mean I won’t make a joke about any one of them. It just means I don’t single out a certain group and imply that I am better than them like Mr. Hillblogger has done to me. I invite a good joke whether it’s at my expense or someone’s else’s.
But as you can see there is one thing I will not tolerate during this process is condescension on anyone’s part. If you think you are better than me because you told a lousy joke about an obscure news event that most Americans have never even heard about (at least I didn’t and I follow the news closely), and then proceed to think you are better because you had to explain it to the the ignorant American what the joke was about, obviously you shouldn’t be wasting your time with a peon like me. Even after your explanation, in fact especially after your explanation, I still thought it barely qualified as humor. Actually I don’t think it even did that.
There are stereotypes associated with every group and it is easy to see if the context is hateful or humorous. In all my comments I have tried to point that out. I think a few of you have seen that and have been quite enjoyable to talk with ever since. But Mr. Hillblogger and on occasion others on this blog don’t seem to know the difference. I’ll point out one thing to make my point:
Everytime you try poke fun or make a joke, you add the comment that this would have the Americans would be reeling if we said this or see how they like this. You definately add an obvious hateful aura with your supposed humor.
Jane hit the nail on the head when she said:
….your only “passing it along to see how it makes us feel” but your aim is to make us feel bad.
Please go back and read all my previous comments. I have not told a single joke about you. I have tried to be nice and offered some humor at my own expense. The comments with the negatively charged aura have all come from you.
If I wanted to make you feel bad…, oh boy! I got some jokes that’ll piss you off. But that’s not why I’m writing on this blog. If I tell a joke it’s to make someone laugh. Obviously Mr. Hillblogger, this is why your jokes aren’t really funny to anyone but yourself.
As for your reputations of being cowards that Barney spoke about, up until now I had never heard much about it. I think you believe it more than anyone else does. You are so insecure about it, you think everyone is thinking it about you, when nobody is. Sure someone might make a joke or even believe it to be true. So be mad at them. Not at people like me who was just trying to be friendly with you.
Though there is one negative stereotype I have heard about French. People say they are condescending. Up until now I didn’t believe that either. But I’m not going to punish the whole French population for what just one of you said (Mr. Hillblogger).
But as I said in the beginning…., I do this because it’s fun. And when it ceases to be, so do I. I wasn’t going to write back even this time, but seeing that at least one person who sees I am am being friendly. I will continue to write. (Thank You for that Miquelon and Jane).
But if it continues to be a witless battle, I’ll find some other people who want to laugh and share a different view of the world. And being this a website supposedly dedicated to improving the image of the French people, I would have to conclude it is failing miserably.
So let’s talk nice and laugh, or I’ll bid you farewell.
Regardless,…, Good tidings, long life, and happiness to all!
Wayne
Hey Miquelon…, I just posted another comment and I saw you had too. I wanted to respond to the last thing you siad:
“Take any so-called joke that was told about the French or France by State Governors, Columnists, Congressmen, Senators, Journalists, Comedians, Writers and change it around to an Anti-American joke, and will immediately see things differently. ”
Don’t you realize that’s what comedians do? They change their jokes to match the audience they are performing for. When they are in the west they say those people from the east are so dumb that…., and when they are in the east they say the opposite.
Anyway, I hope these conversations turn more pleasant. If they don’t I’ll thank you now for taking the time to talk with me. But I do hope they can continue.
Wayne
Jane, Wayne — Of course they’re in bad taste. They’re terrible jokes. I’d never post this garbage anywhere else than here.
But I made my point. You found them distasteful. It’s logical, as they are indeed distasteful jokes.
As Barney points out, the problem we have is that these jokes, if told sufficiently, could pervade popular culture and become common knowledge.
Barney points out that even young children associate “surrender” with France. In fact, in word association, I bet when you hear “surrender,” you think “France”. At least, most people would.
The same kind of mediatic bashing could go the other way around. Take my completely stupid (it’s really meant to be a stupid, bothersome joke) skyscraper joke. So, everytime someone passes a skyscraper, should he hum “it’s raining men,” to the hilarity of those around him? Should kids in school draw Americans jumping off the World Trade Center? Would you find this tolerable?
Just think of it this way. Word association. Surrender? French. Most columnists and pundits have certainly got that point, and are applying it to great effect.
I’ve been watching it. He’s nice, he’s just joking, he asks the minister stuff like “are we becoming France?” and “we’ll change freedom fries to French fries.”
If you had checked the posts in here before you threw a fit, you would’ve found that I had hardly commented on your south park show! Don’t even know what it is save that based on Wayne’s description of the show’s format, I thought it was satire… Heh!
Btw, any pillock will tell you “sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander!”
So, tell your fellow Americans to stop villifying the French through their arid jokes and I bet you your sensitivities will be spared greatly and your dignity will be intact.
Now, I suggest take it easy before you start getting epileptic again.
As to Wayne’s “Obviously Mr. Hillblogger, this is why your jokes aren’t really funny to anyone but yourself.”
Heck, but that was the idea… to rile you and to see how American jokes against the French are crap…
(Geez, does one really have to spell things out all the time??!)
Well looks like Jane and Wayne can dish it but they sure as hell can’t take it.
Thank you both for illustrating our point so perfectly.
How does it feel to be in our shoes ? You didn’t seem to enjoy it. Now imagine feeling what you felt last night every single day for the past 6 years.
As if Americans thought for a minute that the French would not be offended at being called cowards. What ethnicity wouldn’t ? The Italian, the Poles ? You think they enjoyed being called cowards when the joke was on them ?
As I said, if the resurgence of those French surrender jokes coincided with the French refusal to participate in the Iraq War, it is certainly no coincidence. The aim of those jokes left the mere field of humor a long time ago and if even South Park innocently joked about the French being cowards this time, it helps perpetuate an ugly stereotype that is detrimental to the French people and South Park or no South Park we will still protest against that process.
What a bunch of ignoramuses… Why the crap do this people believe that <b>France</b> surrendered?
Sure, Petain collaborated but de Gaulle didn’t.
I mean, this is becoming frigging crazy. Americans believe that the louder they speak, the more right they are; in the same manner the more they propagate the lie, the more they believe it’s true!
Now, that’s not only surrendering but running with their tails between their legs leaving their allies to the mercy of their enemies. To top it all, they whine about their experience with no regard for those they fed to their enemies.
Ouch, I’m sorry Miquelon for the above messy blurb… please delete.
Here’s the clearer blurb:
To think that I even complimented the bleeding American hearts when I posted in my blog.
It concerned a paragraph in a response to US gripes by their dept of information education in 1945 (posted in another thread by Miquelon):
“American security and American foreign policy have always rested on this hard fact: we cannot permit a hostile power on the Atlantic Ocean. We can not be secure if we are threatened on the Atlantic. That’s why we went to war in 1917; that’s why we had to fight in 1944. And that’s why, as a matter of common sense and the national interest, President Roosevelt declared (November 11, 1941): “The defense of any territory under the control of the French Volunteer Forces (the Free French) is vital to the defense of the United States.”
” Actually, I have always believed that there is absolutely nothing stupid about the USA; one of its presidents may be dumb and reckless to the point of jeopardising America’s own interests but the foreign policy machinery of the US still churns out some of the best minds in the world.”
Now, I’m having second thoughts about the level of their intelligence. Dang! If their education about France is derived mainly from their media, it’s no wonder they keep harping about half-lies and half truths.
Poor guys! No wonder, they are not very much liked.
Hey, It’s my first post on this blog, I’m French but never went to the USA ( I wish I could ) . Still I watch regularly the Daily show and South Park and have a great interest in what’s happening on the other side of the atlantic ocean. I came to visit this website thanks to a link Miquelon posted on a page where ken tucker comments the 13×07 “fatbeard” episode of south park.
I’m just here to react positively to this show because it makes me feel really good that an american says ” vive la france” cause you know, the most horrible thing with french-bashing is that lots of french truly love america and it’s making us feel really bad that people we like hate us. And it’s not only about America, now on the internet it’s a widespread belief that french are cowards…As a military and patriot it also makes me feel really unconfortable !
Félicitations à Miquelon pour ce blog, j’ai vu certains commentateurs souhaitant te voir arborer la légion d’honneur :). Pourquoi pas? Mais je te préviens de nos jours c’est surtout devenu une récompense que l’on donne à des artistes parisiens et malheureusement plus à des gens qui font preuve de courage…
Now for the bad news… Did you watch Fox News’ Sean Hannity yesterday? He had a guest yesterday on his “Great American Panel” segment (some actor), who on the subject of torture, mentioned France “rolling over like puppies” in WW2…
“Despite your overly kind words I remember someone once said that God looks after children, fools, and the United States of America. I believe that is in a descending order of competence.”
Hmm. Before I get attacked by American readers here, lemme say that that comment was left by an American commenter in my blog…
Hillblogger, I read every single post before my own and judging from your reaction to the skyscraper joke it isn’t just to “prove a point.” You thought it was actually funny. Jokes that are anti-french or anti-American or any other anti-nationality fall in the same bucket as racist jokes, homophobic jokes, and others. They are wrong and shouldn’t be circulated in the first place. They are incredibly offensive.
Hillblogger, I just don’t understand you…AT ALL. you hate french stereotypes and whenever any are made you categorize an entire group of people and pour out the stereotypes of your own. Please tell me what I am not understanding? Are you really that foolish?
Well, Ms Goody Jane… So? You pretend now that you can read my thoughts? Whoa! What next?
Are you suggesting that I should stifle my thoughts to spare your sensitivities? Has it occurred to you that my reaction was nothing, it was so tame compared to the shit of bricks that’s been thrown our way these last 5 years?
Well, here’s what St Jane, I suggest you lecture to your fellow Americans first and when they stop being foolish, we will stop riling you.
Relax! You’re getting on your high horse is not getting you anywhere. Remember, we didn’t start the crappy exercise — your fellow countrymen did! And if you think we will take the shit lying down, you got another thing coming.
Take your campaign to America where it’s needed most.
What exactly do you hope to achieve by stupidly aggressing me? Do you think that by doing something as kinky as you are doing now, you will get me or people here to love you?
If you are, however, merely interested in some kind of wrestling match, i.e., a verbal tussle, just say so! Be honest, no need to be bashful, no need to turn around the bush but please, please, spare me — and by extension, others, who perhaps are not interested, your holier than thou drivel… you ain’t kidding nobody!
FrancisK 7, sorry I scoured the web, even posted on Hannity’s blog but I can’t even find the lineup of guests for his Great American Panel. LexisNexis does not have anything public available at this point.
“What on earth are you driveling about again?
What exactly do you hope to achieve by stupidly aggressing me? Do you think that by doing something as kinky as you are doing now, you will get me or people here to love you?
If you are, however, merely interested in some kind of wrestling match, i.e., a verbal tussle, just say so! Be honest, no need to be bashful, no need to turn around the bush but please, please, spare me — and by extension, others, who perhaps are not interested, your holier than thou drivel… you ain’t kidding nobody!
I’m truly beginning to feel sorry for you.”
apparently just that foolish. labeling is going to get you know where, acting as if you have no idea what I am talking about is going to get you know where.
where have I said I want to be loved? where have I said I “am holier than you”? where have I indicated that I wanted to fight you in anyway. All I want is answers. You seem to be a hypocrite, you can correct me if I’m wrong but that is what you appear to me.
Often in your posts you raise the points often indirectly that Americans are stupid, violent, etc. You use your own stereotypes, is this some sort of justification on your end to french bashing? I don’t enjoy your stereotypes, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t enjoy stereotypes about the French.
assumptions make an ass out of you and me, in this case mostly you Hillblogger. I applaud people for sticking up for their country and place of origin. You however are a hypocrite.
“Are you suggesting that I should stifle my thoughts to spare your sensitivities? Has it occurred to you that my reaction was nothing, it was so tame compared to the shit of bricks that’s been thrown our way these last 5 years?”
Lets get this straight, y0u are attempting to justify your Laughing out Loud reaction to a skyscraper joke by saying it pales in comparison to American french bashing? How do two wrongs make a right? I never condoned french bashing, I am not a french basher, and do not appreciate being labeled by you semi-camoflauged insults. Your generalizations are filled with ignorance, I’m sure you would react equally as aggressive if they were done in the reverse.
“Well, here’s what St Jane, I suggest you lecture to your fellow Americans first and when they stop being foolish, we will stop riling you.”
Keep digging that hole of bigotry. Lets reverse this statement “Well here’s what St. Hillblogger, I suggest you lecture to your fellow Frenchmen first and when they stop being foolish, we will stop riling you.” You are a HYPOCRITE of the highest degree. You understand anti-french sentiment in America very little for spouting such nonsense. Most Americans have an indifference towards France, as with most countries, neither having a negative or positive view. Over 70% of Americans have a favorable view of France, can the same be said of the French concerning America? nope. The people who do have unfavorable opinions are the idiot republicans that mainstream Americans feel are out of touch with the rest of us. these are the people who have unfavorable views of Democrats, San Francisco, New York, etc. It angers me greatly when you throw me into the same category as these people. It offends me even more that you use the word American to describe us all, I am an American, and there are millions of other Americans, the majority, who do not feel that way.
“Relax! You’re getting on your high horse is not getting you anywhere. Remember, we didn’t start the crappy exercise — your fellow countrymen did! And if you think we will take the shit lying down, you got another thing coming.”
You’re only going to escalate matters your way Hillblogger. There are many effective anti-French bashing techniques. You possess none of them, you fuel the fires. You remind me of a republican who blabs about how America is perfect and can do no wrong, only adding fuel to the fire of Anti-Americanism. Again you widely overestimate French bashing, like I said most Americans are indifferent towards France..of course you’d never believe that.
“Take your campaign to America where it’s needed most.”
If you only knew how many republicans I have attacked with actual aggressiveness who are the cause for all this ignorance on your behalf, who give people such as you justification in your stereotypes.
Oh my… if that woman isn’t careful, something in her mind will snap… Btw, Jane, I really don’t care if you enjoy my or anyone else’s stereotypes… Not an i – o – t – a. You see, you aren’t doing yourself any favour by ranting about like a mad hatter.
Besides, in fairness to everyone else here who surely are not interested in your personal angst (against me), and most importantly, as a courtesy to Miquelon, let’s cut the crap and the name calling shall we? And instead agree to disagree?
Miquelon, as I said in the previous thread, I’m done “arguing” with the mad hatter — not worth it.
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From Jane on South Park Bashes The French
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From Jane on The Daily Show, April 28, 2009
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From Hillblogger on South Park Bashes The French
Go to comment2009/04/28 at 10:11 pm
From Fred Orth on South Park Bashes The French
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From Hillblogger on The Daily Show, April 28, 2009
Go to comment2009/04/28 at 10:30 pm
From Miquelon on The Daily Show, April 28, 2009
Go to comment2009/04/28 at 10:48 pm
From Miquelon on South Park Bashes The French
Go to comment2009/04/28 at 10:52 pm
From Fred Orth on South Park Bashes The French
Go to comment2009/04/29 at 12:06 am
From Jane on The Daily Show, April 28, 2009
Go to comment2009/04/29 at 12:16 am
From Jane on South Park Bashes The French
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From Miquelon on South Park Bashes The French
Go to comment2009/04/29 at 12:37 am
From Miquelon on The Daily Show, April 28, 2009
Go to comment2009/04/29 at 12:38 am
From Hillblogger on South Park Bashes The French
Go to comment2009/04/29 at 12:56 am
From Hillblogger on The Daily Show, April 28, 2009
Go to comment2009/04/29 at 1:14 am
From Hillblogger on The Daily Show, April 28, 2009
Go to comment2009/04/29 at 1:19 am